were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation Purity has been aborted
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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