In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize