I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
