ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
