Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
