I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
