In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
