I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
