This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
