She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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