if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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