I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
