You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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