sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
