How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Did I show you my penis last night?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
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