how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
i black out too much to be "responsible"
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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