dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him