a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Naked Twister starts at high noon
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.