I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.