You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize