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• (517): View more from Michigan

  dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..

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• (206): View more from Washington

  So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?

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• (310): View more from California

  Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.

  (310): View more from California

  I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.

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  23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?

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• (731): View more from Tennessee

  Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.

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  These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.

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• (213): View more from California

  If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude

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• (408): View more from California

  I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not

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• (206): View more from Washington

  If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?

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• (323): View more from California

  He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him

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