Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(612): View more from Minnesota

a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.

Fav 40 4016 1074
share tweet
(815): View more from Illinois

i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.

Fav 17 9152 1294
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.

Fav 13 1155 4907
share tweet
(516): View more from New York

you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.

Fav 8 3614 1246
share tweet
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(913): View more from Kansas

Naked Twister starts at high noon

Fav 16 2429 933
share tweet
(413): View more from Massachusetts

This is love.

(860): View more from Connecticut

Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?

Fav 3 1670 746
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(916): View more from California

Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.

Fav 4 1736 751
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(831): View more from California

I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.

Fav 2 392 723
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(216): View more from Ohio

He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.

Fav 2 61 18
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT