KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
