I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
