just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
