I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
