I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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