When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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