can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
