he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize