my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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