my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
