I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
