Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I think my fart just growled at me.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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