the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
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then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
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Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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