Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
