Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
