escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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