Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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