I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
