Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
