I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
