i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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