I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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