i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Randomize
