It's Friday. Sex?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
