Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
