I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
