shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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