i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
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