I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
