I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
