she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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