the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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