I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
