someone owes me an orgasm
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize