i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
