just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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