I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
