Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
sarcasm needs its own font
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Randomize
