Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
