I need help removing her.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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